Since I've had the opportunity to be in several different churches recently, I've been thinking about what constitutes appropriate behavior once we "cross over from the profane to the holy," as R. C. Sproul describes it. Keeping in mind that true worship is God-centered, not man-centered, our behavior should reflect our reverence and honor, praise and exaltation. Likewise, our behavior should not be a distraction or interruption to the worship of those around us. I understand there are times when distracting behavior is unavoidable, but it seems as though worshipers have become very relaxed in the following areas:
1. Talking, sometimes even extended conversations, with the next worshiper. Verbal interaction with our neighbor should be only be done when absolutely necessary.
2. Leaving worship. This typically has been a problem with children, but it seems as though even adults are having a difficult time sitting through an hour service. I remember years ago, our pastor interrupted his sermon to lecture parents on allowing children to go in and out of the service. He told us to make sure the children are watered and taken to the bathroom before the service begins. He didn't want to see any more of that behavior! Most traffic during worship is avoidable if we plan ahead.
3. Arriving late for worship is a distraction as we try to find seats and move in front of other worshipers.
4. Physical expressions of affection to a spouse or family member are a distraction to those around us. I wouldn't say it's inappropriate for a husband to have his arm around his wife or daughter, but playing with her hair or stroking/massaging her back, for example, is definitely distracting.
5. Of course, babies in a worship service are a natural distraction. Even if the babies are good-natured, they're so cute, we can't help but be drawn to them. Mothers and fathers should be sensitive to the noise level of their babies, though, and take them out of the service if necessary. We recently attended a worship service in Louisville with numerous babies in attendance. Between the baby noises and the traffic created by taking them in and out of the service, the worshipful atmosphere was seriously affected. The pastor felt lead to interrupt his sermon to pray that the Holy Spirit would provide a calmness to the room.
These are my thoughts on worship etiquette, and I would appreciate hearing what others think as well.
My only disagreement with this post would be calling the worship gathering of a church 'worship', for all of life for the believer is worship (or should be) and all of it holy. Otherwise, I concur wholeheartedly.
ReplyDeleteso it's not a worship service... it's a... ummm... service of worshipers who happen to be worshiping corporately, that is, together? ...how about just saying they're meeting for worship? hmmm... sounds a lot like calling it a ...WORSHIP SERVICE!!! ;)
Deletethat's like saying that we shouldn't call deep intentional abdominal breathing "breathing exercises" because all of life is breathing for us. It's true... but when you focus on it, it kind of merits its own name, at least in my mind... ;)
DeleteI don't mind worship service, just calling the gathering 'worship.' Yes, I'm still going to be persnickety about the use of language. :-)
DeleteBut if everything is worship, and this is ESPECIALLY worship, I don't think you have a leg to stand on. Calling one type of explicit worship "worship" doesn't mean we are implying all the other types of worship going on aren't worship. Tacking a "service" on the end only makes it slightly more descriptive.
DeleteOk, I'm forced to respond. I do (obviously) think I have a leg on which to stand and that there is reason to purposely call a worship gathering a gathering. In our culture and throughout church history, there has been a continual struggle of dualism in which we have had to fight against a false dichotomy between "church life" and "real life." And simply calling the gathering "worship" only reinforces this dualism. Then there is the grammatical point, that gathering is the noun and worship is the adjective. One may leave the gathering, but one may not leave worship.
DeleteAshlea, I'm not going to let you off the hook that easily! ;) What then should we call the gathering of worshipers?
ReplyDeleteI usually just calling it the Sunday gathering or the gathering of worshipers. :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm all for babies being in service with their parents if they're tiny and quiet... and if they sit in the back!!! Seriously, what's with sitting on the front row?
ReplyDeleteOn a related note, one of my pet peeves is families who expect their small children to sit through entire sermons-- I'm talking under 5 here. There is no. way. at. all. those kids are taking in anything from the sermon-- sure, they're observing how adults worship corporately, learning sermon-note-taking etiquette, but they can get that in the first 20 minutes of singing/praying. Why does it bother me? Because they ARE learning how to distract themselves from the sermon, either by eating copious amounts of goldfish, by drawing, my sleeping, or by playing. In a few years we're going to be wanting them to do the OPPOSITE-- to pay attention! Far better to train them to sit at home (family worship) and to let them actually learn Scripture in classes on their level, and be gradually introduced to the "big service" as they have the maturity to handle it. My home church had kids in most of the Wed night prayer service starting at age 3 (the kids were taken for their own prayer groups half-way through), in for the singing during the morning service starting at age 4 (class provided during evening service), and all the way through the services starting at 1st grade (when they're learning to read and write). I thought that was really sensible.