But Wait, There's More!

I guess I need to get out more often. I can't believe I've lived in Bay City for fifteen years and just heard about the St. Joseph tradition. Apparently, it is common "knowledge" around here that if you're trying to sell your home, you need a St. Joseph statue to speed the sale. But it's not enough just to have St. Joseph in your possession. No, you must plant him in your yard, preferably upside down near the "For Sale" sign, although these placements have also been recommended:

• Right side up.
• In the rear yard, possibly in a flower bed.
• Lying on its back and pointing towards the house like an arrow.
• Three feet from the rear of the house.
  
• Facing the house.
• Facing away from the house.
• Exactly 12 inches deep.

So, I guess the only real requirement is that St. Joe makes it underground. The custom has become so widespread that there are St. Joseph Home Sales kits available online. In one kit selling for only $9.95, you get a 4" sand-colored statue, instructions, prayers and history, a cloth tote bag for storage, a complimentary home listing, free shipping, and...get this...a protective plastic burial bag! Why the burial bag? Because you're supposed to dig up St. Joseph after the house sells and place him on your mantle as a reminder to be thankful. Yeah.

Miraculous "testimonies" abound, but I particularly like this one from snopes.com: "One impatient man moved his statue from the front yard to the backyard to the side of the house and finally threw it in the trash. A few days later the frustrated seller opened the newspaper and saw the headline "Local Dump Has Been Sold." Wow. This takes idolatry to a whole new level...I never thought anything could top the Mary statues in the bathtubs.